Reach Out, Connect, Care
“I told them they were to treat anybody they came in contact with who had been affected by the storm as if they were a member of their own family– their mother, father, brother, sister, whatever.”
-Admiral Thad Allen, US Coast Guard (Ret), on response to Hurricane Katrina
In a time like this, remember: your people need to know that you care about them.
Leadership is not about position, title or personality. It’s about INFLUENCE. Influencing others to work together to accomplish the Mission - to accomplish it with others, not at the expense of others.
No matter who you are, or where you are in the organization, you can Lead- You can Influence Others.
Right now one of the most influential things you can do is to show others that you CARE.
Care: The first Step is the most important: you need to Actually Care.
- Decide what kind of Leader you want to be: An effective, inspirational leader, or a jerk? You’re free to choose. But remember, you don’t get to decide how others perceive you - your team members are the ones who make that determination.
- Get Out of your Comfort Zone: You might have to get uncomfortable. Welcome to Leadership. Get over yourself. This is not about You. It’s about the Mission, and about your people. Don’t know what to say? Say something. Your intent is the most important thing.
- Build the Muscles: Start. You don’t jump up off the couch and run a marathon. You walk around the block, then run a mile, then two… but you have to Start. Here are some resources to help you build your Empathy Muscles .
Connect: “Connecting” with someone means that they feel “linked, tied to, related” - they feel part of the team. Remember, connecting means not in the way YOU want, but in the way THEY want.
For some it’s a simple, short “check in”. Just asking / offering may be enough. For others, they may need more personal time. Others might appreciate some practical assistance with a task or a personal challenge they’re facing.
- Ask 3 Times: My wife got some great advice from a military leader: For someone to know you really want to hear how they’re doing, you have to ask 3 times. It’s not about “prying”, it’s about letting them know you’re truly open. If they don’t want to say anything, that’s fine! But first you have to clearly indicate that you care enough to listen.
- See beyond your own situation: People are being impacted by this situation in all sorts of ways that you may not even be aware of. I have a colleague whose job is secure - but her spouse’s business has closed and he had to lay off hundreds of people. Another colleague lost a close family member, and they can’t gather as a family to mourn and celebrate their loved one’s life. Others are caring for elderly parents, or have young kids at home. Remember: Your situation is NOT the same as another’s situation.
Reach Out: No excuses. There are so many options available:
- Text: Tight on time? Send a Text. Just let someone know you’re thinking of them. You don’t have to ask how they’re doing if you honestly don’t have the bandwidth to listen. Just say, “Thinking of you.”
- Email: Email can be effective for reaching out to large numbers, but be careful of the impersonal nature of email these days. Use your judgment.
- Call: Calling is a high touch option, but obviously takes more time. Hearing your voice may be exactly what someone needs. Remember, it’s OK to start with, “I only have 10 minutes, but I wanted to check on how you’re doing.”
- Video chat: It’s the next best thing to being there in person. Face-to-face contact, expression, and visual connection. Don’t like the way you look on a camera? Tough. It’s not about you.
- Deliver flowers, a gift, or a pizza: So easy to do, and So Many Options. Get creative, and have fun doing it.
- Send a Card: Go Old School! I had to actually teach my 15-year-old daughter where to put the stamp. Crazy! There’s still something magical about getting a hand-written card in the mail.
- Other? What other ideas can you come up with for reaching out? Let me know - I’d love to hear more creative ideas that you’ve tried!
Note:
If you are in a position of authority, you have that much more responsibility to care for your people. Even while you’re challenging them to step up to the incredible challenges you may be facing. Yup, that’s right. It’s Hard. Welcome to Leadership.
But no matter who you are, no matter what level you’re at in an organization, a community or a team, you can Leadby Caring for Others - on your team, in your neighborhood, and in your community.
John Riordan
John Riordan's Blog




